Be My Puppeteer
by HetChrome
Summary: A little Chuunin is kidnapped by the Akatsuki because she knows the location of their base. Will she destroy the base with her idiocy or will she fall in love with a certain puppeteer? Both seem likely. SasoriXOC ItachiXOC onesided.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Notes: Yosh, peoples! This is my first time actually deciding to get off my lazy butt and typing a fanfic! Anyways, this is going to be a SasorixOC fanfiction with Itachixoc one sided. Enjoy and don't yell at me __too__ loudly._

_Disclaimer: Yes, I own Naruto. ...That was sarcasm. If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be writing this._

I walked through the quiet woods, languidly surveying the familiar surroundings. As usual, my mother had told me to pick some herbs for our customers in the mass of trees. I sighed, lazily combing my fingers through my mess of shocking blue hair, which reached down to my hips. In my hands swung a small basket, used to contain the picked herbs.

When picking herbs, I always enjoyed coming to this particular wood to do so, for it was the one with the greatest variety as well as the highest quality. Well, actually, I wasn't too sure about that, since that was just what my mom told me, and I was too lazy to question it.

I sighed again, the fifth time in the span of four minutes. _How did I get myself into this again? I'm a ninja, for Christ's sake. I don't have time to be picking herbs!_

It was true. I had recently just achieved the Chuunin rank and was aspiring to become a Jounin. After all, a kunoichi should have her priorities strait. That's not to say that my mom and my mom's business wasn't important, it's just that a ninja should have the duty of helping their village before going to the woods and picking a bunch of smelly plants, right? Well, it's true that it's much more comfortable in the woods than back at Suna, where the winds were strong and the sun was hot. Here, it was cool and shady, thanks to the trees.

_Ahhh!! I will never take you for granted again, tree! _I grinned absently, hugging the closest tree. _ It feels sooo good…_ _Hmm…there should be a river coming up soon, ne? Yay! I can prepare the herbs while cooling my feet! Perfect plan! I'm such a genius!_

Yes, some people would say that I was a bit…eccentric. If they were being polite, of course. When someone was pissed at me, they would probably say that I was stupid, annoying, crazy, or insane. Most of the time, it was all of the above. However, that was okay with me, since, I was well aware of that and enjoyed being the way I was. If fact, if anything, I was rather proud.

Finally reaching the river, I sighed, plopping down on the rocky riverbank. The basket of grass I retrieved was placed none-too-gently next to me. Instead of immediately getting to work, I decided to take a little break first. I removed my ninja sandals, dipping them in the cold water. _Mmmm…That feels so good. _I splashed her feet up and down a little, savoring the wet feeling around my ankles. All good things had to come to an end, eventually. I removed a handful of purple-green stalks from the accursed basket, placing them on a rock, and then I used another to rub them into a moist, smelly mass of green.

_Geez…I __know__ I had better things to do than to rub rocks together with a piece of grass in between. I get the worst jobs…Sheesh._ _Ah…Life sucks. Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and- Who am I kidding? Life sucks. Period._

A kunai whistled through the air. Huh? Oh. Well, shit. I think my life just got a whole lot suckier. Shoot. I rolled out of the way, then flipping into a graceful cartwheel to dodge the next wave of accurate kunai.

_She flips, and…Perfect ten! Score!_ I tripped backward, conking my head against a tree and successfully knocking myself out. Hey, how many of you people could do a bunch of acrobatics, and not manage to black out when you smack your head against a friggin' tree?!

!#!

"Urghh… What decided to fart on my head? Oh, wait no, that doesn't make any sense…oh well, to hell with it anyway. When have I ever made any friggin' sense?" I groaned, blinking bleary eyes open, disoriented and dealing with a headache that felt like a chipmunk sitting on a cow smacked my head in a with a hammer.

"Oww…It feels like a chipmunk sitting on a cow smacked my head with a hammer…" Point proven. As usual, I stupidly voiced my thoughts aloud.

"Who are you, un?" A deep voice questioned. A light flicked on. I blinked, rapidly trying to adjust to the light. Now I could see where I was. It was a dark room, moist and made of stone. Iron bars covered the entrance, and the one who talked was nowhere in sight, hidden in the shadows. Assuming it to be a prison of some sort, it was much larger than your average one. A single light bulb hung from the ceiling, not shedding as much light as I would have hoped, so it didn't allow me to see the faces of my captors that were interrogating me.

"I'm Saito Mizuki. Who're you?" I shot back rudely. The voice, joined by others, now, chuckled. It didn't sound too friendly. _My life keeps getting better._

"You have some guts, talking like that to the Akatsuki," a different voice, rougher and not as deep, spoke.

"I like a girl with guts," yet another voice objected.

"Shut up, Hidan."

"Make me, Kisame-teme."

"Oh really? Do you want to say that to my face? Huh?"

"Damare." A smooth, light voice symbolized by a pair of glowing, red eyes that pierced the darkness said coolly. There was a silence. Apparently, the newest speaker held a lot of power in their group. That same voice spoke again.

"Why were you next to that river?"

River? What river? …Oh! He must have meant the river I was cooling my feet in!

"Uhh…cooling my feet in it?" I asked, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Which, to me, it was. There was another small silence.

"Should we let her go, un?" The first speaker spoke up. Red Eyes (which was what I decided to call him) seemed to consider for a moment.

"No," Shit. "She knows of us now. Tell Leader-sama."

"I'll go," a new voice acknowledged.

"Are you aware of the Akatsuki? What do you know about us, un?"

"Uhh…you are a group in a criminal organization, consisting of S-class criminals. Also, you are strangers, and I have never met you people before. I'm not supposed to talk to strangers."

A few chuckles penetrated the air.

"Such child-like innocence, even though you look about nineteen or so," a voice murmured. "I'm almost sorry to kill you."

Wow. That made me feel a whole lot better. Especially that part about me getting killed. Whoop-de-doo! The member that left returned, shutting the iron-barred gate closed behind him. Oh man. I could have totally kicked their asses. Just watch me. I would go kung-ho on their 

butts so bad, they would be able to sit down for a month. Yeah! Sounds like a plan. They just caught me off guard, after all. Gee, if my hands weren't tied…

"Yo! Hello! I think she died…" I snapped out of my spacing out, busy thinking about things I would do to them if my hands weren't bound behind my back, strapped to the chair. These Akatsuki people could tie a mean knot.

"Who did?" I snapped, scaring the deep voice's owner to stumble a few feet. Ha! Take that! I could hear the deep voiced person sigh, and then stepped into the circle of light the light bulb cast while the others conversed with the member that returned from this "Leader-sama."

"I'm Deidara, un. It's nice to meet you. Now we're not strangers anymore, right, un?" I looked the criminal over. His/her hair was blond, part of it tied into a high ponytail while the rest draped down to his/her shoulders. Black eyeliner framed a pair of pretty blue eyes, and he/she wore a black cloak with red clouds lined with white printed on it.

I grinned. "I guess not."

He/she grinned back, which, somehow, didn't seem as menacing as the chuckles before.

"…you're pretty," I said unexpectedly. He/she jumped in surprise. "Are you a guy or a girl?" I continued, oblivious to his irritation. A few snorts and laughs came from the shadows.

"I like this girl," two figures stepped from the darkness. One was blue and had a certain resemblance to a shark. The other was white-haired, with violet eyes. Both carried a large weapon of some sort.

"Kisame," the blue one introduced himself.

"Hidan," the white-haired one nodded in greeting. I blinked, surveying the pair.

"Sharky and Whitey! They're so cute!" I squealed, again grinning cheerfully. Deidara, who was previously upset, brightened up instantly, and started laughing at them. They twitched, and then proceeded to chase him all over my jail cell. Huh. Wonder why.

"Don't mind them. They're always like this unless they're on a mission," a heavily clothed figure took a seat next to my chair. He let out an irritated sigh.

"Stupid brats," agreed yet another voice. Geez, how many people are there? A squat, black-cloaked shadow glided surprisingly gracefully toward the light.

"Those are Sasori and Kakuzu," Red Eyes informed, also walking forward. "I trust you already know who I am."

"Nope," I replied bluntly. "Not a clue." For the first time, I could feel the irritation waves from Red Eyes. It was creepy. "Maybe it would help if you just scoot out of the shadows over there. Can't see you very well, sorry."

_Does this girl have a death wish?_ Wondered the other members, who had somewhat befriended their captive within the short time they knew each other. They faintly worried for my safety, as well as my sanity (which was lost a long time ago, thank you very much). To their surprise, Itachi complied and took another step.

"Eh…I'm not too sure. Can I guess, or do I automatically lose?" I asked, clueless. The Akatsuki sighed in unison, exasperated with this idiotic girl.

"Umm…God? No wait, that's not my answer! Uhh...Dad? No…Mom? Oh, nonono, mom's still alive, er…Hatake Kakashi? Ehh...it's possible…but...Ah! I got it! You're my long lost brother!" I declared triumphantly. And for the first time in his life, Itachi tripped. After that, he proceeded to swear violently under his breath. Deidara, Kisame, and Hidan sweatdropped, since it appeared that Sasori and Kakuzu were too cool for that. It was a rather interesting event, seeing as Itachi never tripped, and he almost never swore. Deidara vaguely wondered if that Mizuki girl was contagious. Oh well. Itachi coughed.

"I am Uchiha Itachi," he said, pausing to let me panic for a bit, and, hearing nothing but a clueless "Huh?" he continued, "Leader-sama said that either you can die right here, or stay and be a captive in our base."

"...You're actually letting me choose?" I raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Shouldn't you guys be the ones who do that?"

"The stupid girl has a point..." Sasori growled lowly. I nodded triumphantly, and then, realizing that I was just called stupid, huffed and turned away, embarrassed.

"I say we vote," put in Hidan. There were a few nods all around.

"Who votes for Mizuki-chan to stay?" Deidara, Hidan, Kisame, and Kakuzu raised their hands. "Four's more than two, guys," No duh. "She stays." Yay! I hope it's going to be fun!

**Whoo! And that's the first chapter! You like? Anyways, submit a review! It's just a click away anyways. Review and I'll give you a virtual cookie, and Sasori will do a dance sometime later in the story...well, maybe. It's okay if you want to flame me, I don't really mind. I'll send them to anime.storm and we'll laugh at them together. I'll update, since its summer and all...I think. That's only if I don't get uber lazy. Chances are, I will be uber lazy, but miracles can happen. Bye Bye!!**


	2. Chapter 2

_Authoresses' note: Back again missed me for the whole week I was being lazy?? HA! For the first time in my life, I made a chapter two of a story! (Party!) Well, yeah, I think we're done here. If there are any Japanese words I get wrong, don't hesitate to yell at me, correct me, scold me, flame me, curse at me, or anything. I probably deserve it anyway. Anyways, try to enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: Standard Disclaimer Applies. If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be writing this. I just own my characters, this story, and my plotline. Everything else goes to Masashi Kishimoto._

The sound of shattering plates filled the room. Deidara's head shot up, glancing questioningly at his stoic partner. Sasori just shrugged indifferently, continuing to polish his puppet. Deidara sighed, laboriously heaving himself up to check out the commotion in the kitchen.

He poked his head out from behind a corner, and saw me struggling with a large stack of plates.

"What are you doing, un?" he questioned.

"Eh? Oh, Dei-kun. Hi. I'm trying to get a plate, but the stack is too tall. Heh-heh," I grinned sheepishly. During the past couple days I've been here, I've grown close to the members of the Akatsuki. Well, actually, not all of them. Itachi, like usual, was being anti-social. But, anyways, who cared about him? Deidara was always friendly, and I shared his love of blowing crap up. Hey, it was fun! Don't judge me. Sasori let me watch when he was making a new puppet, and Hidan liked to zealously explain to me about the teachings of Jashin. I didn't really get into that much, but I love him anyway. Kakuzu was patient with me when I had too much sugar, and trusted me enough to occasionally let me help count some money for him (with supervision, of course. Nice as he may be, he's still paranoid). Kisame talked with me often, apparently to "keep me from destroying the hideout", but everyone knows that he loves me. Right? Yeah. Everyone loves me. It's cause I'm cool that way. You people are all just jealous. I've never seen "Leader-sama" or the "unknown member", as the others called them. I have, however, met 

Zetsu and Tobi. Zetsu was cool. Way cool. I mean, come on, who wouldn't be cool if they had a huge Venus flytrap growing from...wherever it was growing from? Plus, he was black and white. Also, he had split personalities. How can he get any cooler than that? Well, he's not as cool as me. I kick butt! Yeah! Moving on...Tobi! Now Tobi was just plain awesome. Tobi is cooler than Zetsu. Yeah, definitely. He had a swirly orange mask, which is way cool, and he helps me annoy the snot out of Itachi. After we do that, though, we run like Satan himself was chasing us. He might as well have been, cause Itachi's one scary bastard.

I sat down at the kitchen table, munching on a yummy looking cake I found in the fridge. Yum! Deidara helped himself to a slice as well, sitting across from me.

"Hm, I wonder when we got this cake..." mused Dei.

"Who cares? It's gooood..." I sighed. Then, the door opened, and Itachi walked in. He froze at the sight of Dei and I eating cake at the table. Deidara flinched when he felt a murderous aura from Itachi. But, being the incompetent kunoichi I was, I didn't notice. That wasn't good for me. Since Deidara had already abandoned ship, I was left to face Itachi alone.

"SAI.TO," Itachi hissed, emphasizing the syllables in my last name.

"Eh? Oh, hi, Tachi-kun! D'you want some too?" I grinned, oblivious to his rage.

"Why are you eating my cake?!" He yelled.

"Oh. This is yours? Sorry, my bad. I didn't know you liked sweets," I laughed nervously. He twitched. Laugh. Twitch. Laugh. Twitch. It was repetitive.

Finally, he snapped, "You'd better run very fast, because when I catch up to you..." he left his sentence hanging. I shivered, knowing what he could do. And, of course, being the extremely smart and awesome person I was, I ran as fast as I could.

"Waaaahhhhhhhhh!! Itachi's picking on me! Heeeellllppppp!!" I screamed, zooming out as fast I could, leaving only a visible cloud of smoke after. Itachi zoomed by seconds later, also leaving a large dust cloud. Hidan blinked, shrugged, and decided to continue sharpening his scythe.

I ran and kept running, leaving surprised Akatsuki members in my wake. Wrenching open a door recklessly, I dashed in and slammed the door behind me. Sasori turned, the large puppet swiveling his body to face me. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hi Sasori!"I grinned brightly. He sighed, and in that gravelly voice of his, grumbled, "What did you do to piss of Itachi this time?"

I looked hurt. "Why must you always assume the worst of me, Sori-kun?" I pouted. As usual, I disregarded the proper use of the suffixes after names. I did that with everyone.

"It's because it's almost always like that," he replied.

"Yeah? Well-Well, you smell funny!"

"...That was lame," Sasori sweatdropped, even though technically, he couldn't do that, since puppets don't have sweat, but this is my story, and Sasori is awesome, so he can too sweat, and that was the longest run-on sentence that I have ever written. Anyways, back to the story.

"I know," I cried pathetically, "I can't come up with comebacks on the spot. Good ones anyway."

"...you suck."

"Wahhh! Sori-kun is picking on meeeee!" I wailed, yet again. Deidara walked in, still hiding from the crazy, sugar-deprived weasel we call Itachi. Sasori sighed.

"I'm guessing that you had a hand in it too, Deidara?"

"It wasn't our fault, Danna! We didn't know that Itachi likes eating cake!" Deidara flapped his arms around emphatically.

"...He eats cake?" Sasori seemed to be stuck for words.

"See! You didn't know either, Danna, so you can't blame us, right?" Dei grinned.

"Actually, if it were me, one: I don't eat cake, and even if I did, two: I don't like sweet things, and three: again, even if I did, I wouldn't get caught. You only have yourselves to blame for him chasing the two of you." Sasori corrected.

I wasn't listening to him, and neither was Dei. The two of us were playing cards.

"Go Fish!" I cried happily.

"Aww man! You're cheating, aren't you?" Deidara pouted.

"Am not! You just suck at Go Fish!" I cheered.

"Where did you guys get those cards?!"Sasori yelled. "Listen to me when I'm talking to you!"

A knock on the door was heard. Dei and I froze, praying it wasn't Itachi. It opened, and Kisame poked his head in. We sighed in relief, and the blue shark-man stared at us strangely. Shrugging, he said, "Leader wants Deidara and Sasori in his office, pronto."

"Eh?"

"Mission," Kisame replied simply.

"Ah," Sasori nodded, standing up and walking out the door, his black bulk barely fitting through the doorway (remember he's inside Hiruko). Deidara shuffled after him, giving me an apologetic wave. I sighed. I need new victims to bother.

_Authoress: AH! Done! I know you people want more Sasori fluff, but I like it better when they get to know each other more and then start liking each other. Itachi will start having feelings soon, but, of course, she's dense, and won't notice, while the others can really tell. SO, yeah. Thanks for reading and remember to review! They make me happy! And you can always flame, it doesn't matter to me._


	3. Chapter 3

Authoress: Yo! I got so many reviews and favorites and alerts!! I'm so happy 0 Sorry people. It's been a while, ne? Actually, I don't get why Itachi is more popular than Sasori. I mean, just think about it. It's like the same thing as saying that Sasuke is cooler than Gaara. And everyone knows that that is not true at all. Well, I'm done ranting. On with the show!

Itachi: It's not a show.

Authoress: Shut up weasel-boy. Link is cooler than you. - Zelda fetish.

Deidara: Owned, un. - Hates Itachi.

Disclaimer: Yes, I own Naruto. I also just lied.

I wandered through the dark hallways of the Akatsuki base. After about half an hour, I came to a conclusion. I was lost. Well, that sucked.

Picking a random door out of the few that existed, I opened it to a luxurious room with a large silk-covered bed, curtains a dark mix of black and red. The walls were painted black with the Akatsuki cloud painted in the corners. A bedside table held a lamp next to the...well, bed. A large armchair sat in a corner, next to a mahogany bookshelf neatly lined with books and manuals. An adjoining door was slightly ajar. I looked around for a bit, and decided, _'Nope. Not the kitchen.'_

About to close the door, some movement caught my eye. Eh? I opened the door again. And as fate would have it, Itachi stood there with a slightly confused expression on his admittedly handsome face. The catch was: he was shirtless and just stepped out of the shower. A white fluffy towel was draped on his raven hair. Luckily, he was wearing pants. Whew. It would have been slightly disturbing if he wasn't. I felt my face flare. I don't blame myself for it. Why should I? If you were in the same room as someone who is considered a bishie by many, an half-dressed, you would too. Admit it.

Itachi's currently deactivated onyx eyes slid over to me. Oh sugar-honey-ice-tea. I'm gonna get killed! Yeah, you heard me. K-E-E-L-E-D. Yes, that's now you spell it. Don't question me!

To my surprise he just asked calmly, "What are you doing in my room?"

"..." I didn't say anything. He just watched me, and I'm telling you, even with his Sharingan eyes deactivated, I could feel his gaze burning a teeny hole right though my forehead. What can I say? My forehead is sensitive to this stuff. I swear I'm psychic.

"Err..." I finally stuttered. "I'm lost." Itachi was in the process of yanking on a black t-shirt. I averted my eyes, mildly embarrassed.

"Y'know," I started, "I'm just gonna go away now..."

"No. I'll take you to the kitchen." His monotonous voice cut in.

"Umm..." What was with the sudden change in heart? He was trying to kill me a moment ago. Huh. Miracles do happen.

"Come." He said softly, now wearing his black cloak. I backed up slightly when he walked up to the door to give him some space. Of course, I'm guessing that he's the type of person to need a lot of space.

To my utter surprise and mild horror, he took my wrist and pulled me toward the opposite direction of where I was walking. It figured.

We passed Kisame in the ridiculously long hallway. The rooms don't need to be that big, did they? Kisame raised an eyebrow at the skin contact. Did Itachi drop off a cliff, bump his head and somehow have his personality reversed? The Shark hoped not. That would disturbing and awkward. Mostly disturbing. Then he would probably be all gay and flowery or something. Ew. He glanced at the expression on your face, being dragged after him with tears streaming comically from your eyes. Kisame decided that the best pan of action was to pretend he never saw anything and erase this from his mind. He nodded resolutely. Yes. Now he was going to paint his toenails.

When the two of us finally reached the kitchen after passing a couple miles of wall, I was exhausted from being dragged. My butt hurt like hell. It probably wasn't one of the brightest ideas I've ever had, but curiosity overwhelmed me. I was going to ask Itachi what got pulled out of his butt.

"Er...'tachi?" He turned to look at me, studying me with his now activated eyes. "Are you...feeling alright?"

"I'm fine," he replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Umm...You're acting kinda...off."

"Only when I'm with you," He whispered.

Eh? What did he say? I could have sworn he said that he was lonely when he's fifth zoo. And people say that I don't make any sense.

"...You don't mind repeating that, do you?" I asked, confuzzled.

He smiled. I inched back in my chair, the legs squeaking against the tile. That was creepy. His smile, I mean, not the legs against the tile. Even though I admit, that was pretty annoying. But back to the topic. This man should not be allowed to smile. He's probably the one mostly responsible for global warming. Cause, I mean, every time he smiles, he probably just caused a glacier to split in half in Antarctica. But we won't get into that, because in this story, Antarctica does not exist. So ignore that.

"I said, I'm only like this around you," he breathed, watching my expression change through thick black lashes with amusement.

I twitched. Dear God, please let my ears be broken. I could feel violent shivers cascading through my body. _**Ew!**_ Yuckyuckyuckyucky!! Even without looking at myself in the mirror, I can tell that my forehead was all blue and I was sweating. Suddenly I found that the twitch under my eye was becoming uncontrollably rapid. How old was this guy again? 25? I was nineteen, for crying out loud. I tensed, ready to dash. I highly doubt I could outrun an S-class criminal anyway. It was worth a try, though. Better than sitting there and waiting to be caught. Ready, steady, go! I bolted. Now me, I wasn't a slowpoke by any means. In fact, I was the fastest Chuunin in my village. Unfortunately, I got caught anyway.

"GAHH!! Sharky, help!" I just saw him a while ago in that god-forsaken hall, right? He couldn't have gotten that far. Too late. I felt a pair of slim arms wrap gently around my torso. Oh no. My back was immediately pressed against a lean yet muscular chest. Nuuu!! Run away!! One of his arms crossed diagonally across my body to grasp my opposite shoulder. My face flushed a coconut red. Yes, coconut. Got a problem with that? Gah! This is no time to be stupid! I began struggling as hard as I could. Suddenly, I heard a loud and comforting voice echoing somewhere miles down the hall. "Why did Leader send us to buy him a lollipop? That's so stupid!"

The tiny ray of hope through the dark sea! I could feel Itachi's breath against my neck. Tears of panic erupted, again, comically, at the corners of my eyes. I filled my lungs with as much air as I could.

"RAPE!!" Then the fast taps of S-class feet met my ears. Deidara and Sasori burst through the kitchen door, staring in horror at the scene. Deidara ran forward, trying to separate the two of us, looking aghast. Sasori's tail shot forward to threaten Itachi back. Deidara patted my back in a brotherly manner. "It's okay, Mizuki-chan. Itachi-teme is always like this after he's had sugar. Don't worry about it. He'll come back to normal in an hour or two." Dei smiled nervously, wondering if his unofficial little sister was traumatized or something. I abruptly stood up, walking to the fridge and cabinets and removing all the food products that contained even a little bit of sugar. Afterwards, I proceeded to run out of the kitchen laden with the sugary products to hide them all somewhere. Sasori had Itachi unconscious on the floor. Deidara glanced back and forth between the door where I just left, and the weasel in blackland on the floor. "What should we do with him?" An angel with Dei's own face poofed on his shoulder.

"...Just leave him there," The devil on the opposite shoulder replied. The angel agreed. Deidara almost collapsed in shock. "Aren't you guys supposed to disagree?" He asked.

"Oh, wow. You know a big word. Congrats." The devil clapped sarcastically.

"I think I'm going crazy," Deidara announced.

"No, you think? Newsflash, Blondie. You went crazy a long time ago," the devil reported.

"Well, you are talking with two voices in your head," The angel said, in his pacifying manner.

Deidara sighed when Sasori looked at him oddly. "Never mind."

Authoress: Ah! It's done o Yeah, the onesided Itachi is popping up now. But I guarantee that he doesn't only like her when he's sugar high. And if you're out there raising your pretty eyebrow at his reaction to sugar, forget it. Everyone releases their sugarness in different ways. I personally know someone that calms down when he has sugar. And to the fellow Sasori fans out there, his fluff will come sometime soon...or not. But it will come up. I was thinking, maybe I'll write a sidestory sometime that doesn't have anything to do with the actual story...like a oneshot, maybe? I dunno. Click the blue button on your left to submit a review I'll give you a cookie. It comes with the Sasori bishie package, and the shipping and handling is free...


	4. Chapter 4

**Authoress: Hi. Enjoy. Oh. Thanks for the reviews, by the way. I got a lot of constructive criticism, so I'm super happy. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll actually put the "More in character and more believable" stuff in this story, but I promise I'll be more in-character in the next. That's because I'm going for more of a comedy and OOCness. So, if you will excuse me...**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, blahblahblah, I own this story and my OC's. Deal with it.**

I hate physics. It's the most terrible subject on the face of earthydom. Or...uh, whatever. My point is that Deidara sucks. Just because Tobi and I ate all the sweets that I hid because Itachi got all sugar-high-- No, stop, don't EVEN go there. I still get disturbing images when I think about it. Well, Deidara decided that because we ate all the sugar in the base, and since I was apparently in need of something to do (which was not true, Tobi and I had so many fun pranks to play), he gave us some physics to study. I doubt he knows physics. Psh. Stupid girly-man.

"Ne, Tobi-kun, what's the formula for Distance again?" I asked idly, twirling a pencil in the air.

"Eh..."F" equals "m" times "a"? I think it is, anyway..." he sniffed. "Why is Tobi being punished? Tobi is a good boy!"

I sighed sympathetically. "I know Tobi-kun, life is very unfair. But don't worry. Tobi is a very good boy. Dei-kun is a bad boy," I nodded, mentally agreeing with my sound logic.

"Really? But I always thought Deidara-sempai was a good boy too."

"Don't worry your cute little head about it,Tobi-kun. Let's just figure this out. So if a person moved 5 miles in 2 minutes...Tobi-kun, what do the "F", "m", and "a" stand for? I dun get this...Ah! I know, I'll ask Saso-kun! He probably knows. Wait just a sec, I'll be right back."

sTRawBeRrY

After a 15 minute trek down the ridiculously long hallway...

I flung open the door to my favorite puppet master's room, which was brightly lit.

How strange. I always pictured Saso-kun to be a dark kind of person...

There was a figure bent over the table in his room. This figure was actually significantly smaller and slimmer than the Sasori that occupied this room.

"Gah! Imposter! Who're you? Where's Sasori? Did you abduct him? Eat him? Make him...INTO A SMOOTHIE?! GYEH! SASOSMOOTHIE! That sounds so yucky! GIVE BACK MY SASOSMOOTHIE! WAHHHHHH!!" I started freaking out.

The person turned. I choked on my heart vessel. Holey shit. Heehee. Holey. AH! This is no time to be fooling around!

The so-called impostor was not mildly attractive at all. He was already way beyond that. Smooth, flawless porcelain skin flowed onto his frame, and a mess of haywire red hair brushed lightly against his forehead. Cool-looking ginger eyes were amused, and a finely sculpted eyebrow raised. He was smirking. At me. The effect was too great. Twitch. I think my eyeball are going to melt from overdose of prettiness. There has got to be a law against that. Please let some part of him be ugly. Just ONE part, and I'll be satisfied.

"Mizuki, what are you doing?" he asked, smooth, velvety tones caressing my sense of hearing and making them bleed.

"It speaks! Thy evil trickery shall not tempt me! Grah! The sound! It BURNS!" I cried, thrashing all over Sasori's bedroom floor.

"Are you...high, by any chance?" The insanely beautiful redhead asked.

Insert twitching period here

"Mizuki? Mizuki? Hmm...Maybe she isn't aware that I am in fact Sasori..." the puppeteer mused.

cHoCOlaTe

"I feel like I got abducted by an alien and then probed...What a strange feeling. Why do my eyes and ears feel like their bleeding. Hm. What a strange feeling...Ah. Why is the ceiling turning red? I think I need to go to a veterinarian..." I mumbled.

"Glad to see you've joined the realm of the living, Mizuki," a sinfully rich voice commented.

My ears...they Throb. With a capital T.

"Nyeh. Who hit me with a shoelace? That hurt. I want revenge!" I grumbled dazedly.

My eyes focused, and I saw a person at a desk, with a few sheafs of paper and a large wooden contraption laying on it. A few shiny metallic tools glinted.

"Before you started shouting random things and passing out, I want to tell you that I'm Sasori."

I blinked, and then processed. Then I said slowly, "But Sasori is ugly."

The figure frowned, glaring at me. "That was Hiruko, a puppet that I control. I sit inside it." Then he smirked. "If I was ugly, then that would mean that now I'm not. Therefore, you consider me to be attractive."

Then I realized that I was insulting and complimenting him at the same time. Oops.

"Eh, you can have your way this time, sonny."

I sat up. "So you've been sitting inside a puppet the whole time? Huh. How come I never knew?"

Sasori resisted the urge to smack his forehead. 'Maybe it's because you are an incompetent ninja, idiot.'

"Did you need something?" he asked, bored.

"...Yeah! Tobi and I need your help in physics."

"...physics? Do I want to know?"

"Yes. Deidara made us because he is a stupid girly-man."

"...I see. What don't you get?" the puppet sighed.

"Distance. What does "F", "m", and "a" stand for in the equation?"

This time Sasori really did smack his head. "Mizuki, there is no "F", "m", or "a" in the equation. It's "d" equals "s" times "t". You were thinking about the equation for Force."

"...Oh. I blame Tobi."

"Idiot." the puppet master deadpanned.

"Well, if you're so smart, you can help us with the rest! Let's go, puppet-boy!"

"Hey! Wait! What about my-"

SLAM! The door shut, cutting off Sasori's muffled cries.

ABDUCTION.

SILENCE.

"AH! I get it now!"

"Tobi gets it too!"

"I'm never teaching these two ever again, I swear. If I break this vow, may lightning strike Deidara where he stands."

MeAnWHilE

"Ah-choo! I've suddenly gotten a chill, un. How strange, un."

**End. I would love physics if Sasori taught. I don't think I'll be paying attention. To the physics, that is.  
**

**Authoress: Thanks to the reviewers, they get an automatic Akatsuki Exclusive Plushie Package, Featuring the Itachi Plush and the Sasori Plush. You know, when I was typing this, I found out that SASOSMOOTH is an actual word...how strange. Oh wait, no, that's just cause it was capitalized...never mind...Thanks for reviewing! It's prior thanks, so if you don't click the blue-purple button with the "Submit Review" option, you'll feel guilty for receiving thanks. Plus, you really should review because I last updated like...5 months ago...Sorry about that...**


	5. Chapter 5

Authoress: Okay, peoples, I'm seeing all these hits and no reviews. What's going on? I know my stories aren't that great, but if you leave a comment or something, it'll make me feel better...I dedicate this story to...Drumroll, please, Tobi-kun.

Tobi: Tobi is a good boy! **Drumroll**

Authoress: Dedicated to Lucy, my friend who inspired this chapter, and all my reviewers! So start reviewing!

Disclaimer: I'm female. Kishimoto Masashi-san is not. 'Nuff said.

"Dei-kunnn!" I panted, dashing down the Endless Hallway. Yes, it has been capitalized.

"What, un?" he said, irritated, trying to perfect another clay statue.

"Hey, you know, Sasori-kun is actually really hot?"

He choked and dropped his clay statue. Time seemed to move slowly as it crashed into the floor.

"NOOOOO!!" he cried, tears streaming comically down his face. Hehe. Mission accomplished.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?! UNN??" He screamed.

"I love you too, Dei-kun," I commented, hurriedly backing away.

Deidara was close to tearing his hair out. His eyes were twitching ferociously, and his teeth were gritted. I kept backing away. Backing, backing, and backing into Kakuzu, who suddenly dropped an item he was holding. The glass vial that Kakuzu was holding so carefully crashed onto my head. Ouch.

A slightly purple steam wafted from my head, smelling like rotten strawberries. Ew. I choked, accidentally breathing some of the noxious smoke in. Spluttering, I wiped some of the smoking liquid away, eyes streaming.

Kakuzu stared in horror.

"NOOOOOOOOO!! Un." he cried, zooming out of the Endless Hallway at a stunning speed. I guess the Akatsuki must have fast members to get down these hallways, or else they'll be late for everything.

Deidara frowned in disgust. "Hey," he said, "Are you okay? Kakuzu often buys some pretty nasty stuff, un."

I opened my mouth to tell him that I was okay, and said, "Yarr."

He looked at me oddly. "What?"

I said again: "Yarr."

"Huh?"

Exasperated, I blurted, "Narr."

"I think I need to ask Kakuzu what the hell this potion thing is...un," Deidara commented, towing me away.

'Why can't I talk? I knew I could talk a while ago. How strange.'

"Sorry, you bitches will have to come later. Kakuzu's pretty fucked up. Fuck off," Hidan said bluntly, slamming the door in our faces. Well, shoot.

"Hey, wait, can't you just- Oh, forget it." he grumbled. "I'll go ask Tobi, but I doubt he knows anything..."

ChEeSeCaKe

"Hey, Tobi, what's wrong with Mizuki? She's talking funny."

"It wasn't Tobi! Tobi is a good boy! You can't do this to Tobi, Deidara-sempai!" he wailed, fleeing from the crime scene.

"Er, next victim, I guess, un."

gRaPe

"Zetsu-san, do you know what's wrong with Mizuki? Un?"

"_I'm not aware," _his white half said.

**"If there's something wrong with her, does that mean that we can eat her?"** asked the black half.

"No, un!" Deidara cried, dragging the unfortunate girl away with him.

oRanGe

"Hey, Kisame-teme, what's wrong with her?"

"I don't see anything wrong with her, Deidara-baka." The blue swordsman grumbled, turning away.

"Yarr," I insisted. Of course there was something wrong with me. What was he? Blind? Damn fish.

"Gah! No, Momma, don't do it! I don't want to be green!" he suddenly screamed, dashing away.

"Well, there goes a useless lump of blue fish, un." Deidara commented.

"Yarr," I agreed.

"Next is the Weasel-teme, try not to freak out," The blond murmured.

"Narr."

PoPtArT

"Oi, do you know what crap spilled on her? She can't talk right, un."

"Yarr," I agreed, to emphasize his point.

'They better not be fooling around,' Itachi thought darkly, still not forgiving the duo for stealing his cake. He never remembered attempting to seduce Mizuki. He glanced at the poor girl, being dragged around. Contemplating for a moment, he set his hand on her head. She flinched, twitching rapidly. Itachi pulled his hand away, sniffing. He cringed slightly. What a disgusting, sickly sweet smell. Like strawberries. Rotten ones, too.

"Poison," he offered.

"Poison? Well, that makes things a lot easier. Let's go see the supposedly good-looking Sasori, then, Mizuki. Un."

"When did you suddenly switch your preferences for more masculine people, Deidara?" Itachi asked off-handedly, in his usual monotone.

"Hey! I'm just describing it as Mizuki said, ok, un? Leave me and my sexual orientation alone, un!" huffed Deidara.

"Yarr." I said blankly.

For some reason, Itachi's gaze darkened, narrowing slightly as he glanced at Mizuki. Then he got up, sweeping away.

"Damn Weasel, un." Deidara rolled his sky-colored eyes.

"Yarr," I agreed.

ChOcoLAte

"Sasori-danna, do you know what's wrong with her? She talks funny, un."

"I see," Sasori sniffed, wincing slightly. Oh come on, I don't smell that bad. After the first hour like this, you kinda get used to it. Oh wait, never mind. Ew. I smell nasty.

"This is an interesting blend of poison, I've never seen it mixed in this way before. But by the look and smell of it, she should return back to normal after a shower." Sasori murmured, climbing out of Hiruko.

Deidara's jaw dropped.

"Sasori-danna, you're not supposed to be so good-looking. You can almost pick up as many girls as I can, un."

Sasori frowned. "You can't pick up any girls, brat. And since when did you change your sexual preferences?"

"Gah! Itachi-teme said the same thing! You guys are ganging up against me, un! Nooooo!" he screamed, dashing away in a rather similar fashion as Kisame.

"Uh, well, he's being rather strange, huh?" I commented.

"...Did you just talk?" The puppet asked quizzically.

"No. Uh, I mean, Narr. Oops. I slipped," I grinned.

"...You were faking?"

"Sure. It was funny. Deidara is so easy to manipulate. Of course, Tobi is in on it, since he's such a good boy."

"So what is that poison that I identified?"

"Beats me. I don't feel any different. Except I do have a sudden urge to eat sugar. And flirt with some hot guys."

"Umm..." Sasori trailed off, unsure of what to say, so he just scooted away a little.

"Heehee!"I grinned, skipping away to the kitchen.

THE END

Naw, not really.

NOW:

THE END.

**Authoress: Heya! I don't own Poptarts, by the way. Thanks to all of my lovely readers! I decided to post a little earlier than last time. Heh. I love you all, people who review! And...not so much the people who don't. Ah, who am I kidding? I love you all! Just remember to review, people!**

**Hugs and Kisses,**

**AkatsukiKandaFangirl**


	6. Chapter 6

**Authoress: Hi. Um. Haha, I was neglecting this story, wasn't I… Sorry, I've been obsessed with KHR lately sooooo….I didn't really find the time. Ha. Okay. So chapter 6! Of some more absolutely meaningless crap.**

'I need a hammer. A very, very big hammer. If I were a hammer, where would I hide…'

I thought for a moment, tilting my head to the side. 'Hmm…'

It was time to pay a visit to the Endless Hallway. I forgot, was that what it was called? Hm.

Well, putting that aside for now…

I trotted down the Hallway, to find my first victim, which would be… Kisame, of course.

"Hey, Sharky." (It was here when I paused to think 'Squalo' ever-so-subconsciously.)

"…..What."

"No need to be hostile, we're a happy family here."

"We'll be a happy family once people turn blue."

I had no response to that.

"Okay… I have a question."

"Good for you."

"Now, that's just plain mean."

"You're welcome."

"If you were a hammer, where would you hide?"

"…In the water."

"Why?"

"Hammerhead sharks LIVE in the water. What are you, stupid?"

I paused to think about the reference to hammers and water in One Piece.

"No, not really. You far outstrip me in that category…"

So my first victim was a complete and utter moron. Oh well. Next.

Kakuzu had been all over the world collecting bounties and debts, so he should know, right?

Luckily, Kakuzu was only a door over on the Endless Hallway, so that meant traveling for two miles to get to it.

But the funny thing was, get this, when I knocked, he opened the door, gave off a very high pitched scream, and closed it again.

"Wonder what was wrong with him." It's not like she was holding a torch or anything, like last time. Oh, last time. That's another story.

If Kakuzu traveled the world for money, that would mean Hidan accompanied him, right? So they should know the same amount of info.

"Whitey- Oh dear." Hidan was in the middle of another ritual, laughing crazily as he repeatedly stabbed himself. Blood poured down on the already stained carpet. Religious zealots were not to be messed with.

I shut the door in a rather large hurry, taking off for the next couple miles. Who else was left? Zetsu was more likely to eat her than tell her anything, and Pein and Konan didn't really like listening to her problems.

"I bet Tobi will know something!" Tobi knew everything.

"Hammer?" Tobi questioned, scratching his head cutely. "If you want a hammer, you'd go to a tool shed?"

He paused. "Ah, but the Akatsuki doesn't have a tool shed. Ask Itachi! He knows a lot of things."

I nodded, having mostly gotten over my trauma of the crazed weasel. (Here, I stop to think about Bel.)

" 'Tachi?" I knocked on his door.

"It's open." I opened the door, letting it glide open of its own accord.

" 'Tachi?" I repeated.

"Mm? Yes?" He turned his apathetic face away from his book to look over at me.

"If you were a hammer, where would you hide?"

"…What do you need a hammer for?"

"…To hammer in a nail." Sometimes, I wonder how intelligent these Akatsuki people were…

"Why would you need to do that?"

"I'm building a ROBOT!" (Gola Mosca, the irony.)

Though Itachi's expression clearly doubted that this Saito Mizuki could even build a wagon, much less a robot, I did not take offense. Mostly because I didn't notice.

"Deidara works with art. Surely he has a hammer." And with that, Itachi returned to his book, but not before raising an amused eyebrow.

"Kay, thanks!" I said quickly before charging down maybe 50 miles of the Endless Hallway, for Deidara was alllllll the way at the starting point.

"DEI!"

"WHAT!?"

Dei did not like to be disturbed in the middle of his art molding. He was in the process of, you guessed it, another giant bird.

"If you were a hammer, where would you hide?"

He stared at me blankly, though I didn't know why, until…

"…In my pants?"

"…………………………………………………."

I slammed my foot into his groin, causing him to double over in agony.

"Okay, so NOW where would you hide?"

"Why do you need one?" Deidara squeaked, his voice higher by a few octaves.

"To make a robot." Though Deidara was constricted by pain, he still managed the disbelieving face.

"I'm building it with Sori-pon!" I added defensively, frowning.

Deidara's torso heaved with impatience.

"Okay, so if you're building it with him, and he's a puppeteer who MAKES his OWN puppets, WHERE do you THINK you'll find a hammer?"

"………In your pants….?"

"NO!"

"But that's what you said- "

"NO!"

"But- "

"NO! IF SASORI'S A FREAKING PUPPETEER, THEN HE SHOULD HAVE A HAMMER!"

"Oh….Yeah, yeah, you're right. Ha, Dei-chan, you're so smart! Thank you~"

Deidara groaned miserably.

I hopped cheerily into Sasori's room, and threw a flying glomp at the poor 30+ boy.

"Mizuki?"

"Sori, if you were a hammer, where would you hide?"

"I dunno," he said innocently, eyes looking very mischievous. "Why don't you ask Kisame?"

"…Oh. Okay~!"

END

**Authoress: And…Cut, that's a wrap! Ha. Short. I just thought up this one on the spot, so there weren't many ideas to be used……Hur. Sorry.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hiiiie. I didn't update for a while… Sorry. =smack=**

**Better than the interval for last time though. Ehehh.**

**Is it sad that I don't remember my OC's name anymore? Anyway.**

**Because of my long absence for this story, I will be expecting many reviews!**

**I'm not sure if that makes any sense, but still. Okay. REVIEW! **

**Disclaimer : Kishimoto = Male, Me= Not**

"Who are you?"

"Your worst nightmare…"

"Get off the roof get off the roof get off the roof…"

The television flicked off with a small hissing sound.

"Ahh.. I love Mulan. Best Disney movie ever." I sighed, stretching out. The Leader had ordered for the Akatsuki members to find _something _for me to do, though I couldn't imagine why.

I entertain myself pretty efficiently, don't you think?

Deidara flopped down next to me, cuddling a pillow in his arms.

"I think so too, un. Though Lion King gave it a run for its money."

"Lies."

"What, you got something to say, un?" Deidara defended.

"Pinocchio was pretty pwn too!"

"You lie."

"Well… 300 was pretty good too."

"I thought we were talking about Disney movies," Deidara commented, confused.

"Ah. But there is one factor you didn't calculate into this equation."

"Ew. Math. What?"

"This. Is. SPARTA!"

"No, this is the Akatsuki," Deidara corrected.

"Lies. I liked that one Disney movie with the lion cubs too."

"…That was Lion King."

"LIES!"

"It's true."

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-huh."

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-huh."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Please, just shut up, you two." Sasori cut in, gritting his teeth.

Wait.

"Sasori, do you have teeth?"

"Yes. Go away."

"What's your favorite Disney movie, Sori?"

"Pinocchio."

"Outvoted!" I cheered.

"Lies!" Deidara cried, outraged. "So what's the movie with the lion cubs called?"

"Lion King," Sasori snapped.

"Aha!"

"LIES!" I screamed. "I bet Tobi would agree with me."

"Yeah, after he manages to get away from Zetsu's plant, un." Deidara snorted.

"Why is Zetsu's plant eating my poor Tobi?" I asked.

"Kisame fed him to it."

"Lies."

"No, it's true," Sasori interrupted.

"When was this!?"

"When you were singing along to 'I'll Make a Man Out of You'."

"Hey, it's a good song," I defended.

"It lacks art." Sasori replied calmly, using some lethal looking tool to insert something most likely equally lethal into the puppet he was building.

"Does not, un." Deidara huffed.

"Lies," Sasori quoted coolly.

"Hm. Well, anyway, Hidan would agree with me! I'm sure Kakuzu would too, if I paid him." I stated cheerily.

"No way." Deidara replied in disbelief.

"Yes way."

~Katekyo~

"Hidaaaann!! Which is better, Pinocchio or Lion King?"

"Neither. 300."

"YES! In your face." I stuck my tongue at the irate blond.

"Rawr. Go die in a corner."

I gasped, offended. "I promised my own mother's dead soul that I would not commit suicide in a corner. If it were me, I'd go out in some flashy and dramatic explosion on top of a skyscraper, where people could ooh and ahh over my flaming body hurtling toward the streets as a comet."

Deidara whistled, "You put a lot of thought into this." Pause. "What's skyscraper?"

"Uuhh…" Let's try to keep these fourth walls unbroken, kay? Jashin-sama thinks it's a pain to constantly stick them back together. After all, all he has is duct tape.

"I thought you mother was alive."

"...She is."

"YOU LIE."

"No, really."

"Liar."

"..."

~NoIdeaWhatToDoSoMovingOn~

I woke with a sleepy expression – the morning had come and gone.

Yet. Something felt different. My awesome ninja skills told me that something was off.

The balance.. Or something.

My eyes drew themselves over to my stomach. Poke. Poke.

Urgghhh.

I've been neglecting my training.

"Is it possible to go into training withdrawal?" I moaned from the Hallway. A while later, I found myself in the kitchen. After all, I couldn't live without knowing where the kitchen was.

Deidara lifted a pale eyebrow. "Training withdrawal?"

"Unnnhh.."

"Stop copying me."

I growled back at him in spite, "Art is a bang, un!"

"Die."

"Nevar."

I bit my lips afterwords, staring blankly at Deidara in thought, who was eating something suspiciously resembling a blue-dyed shark.

"Do you think.. that Leader will allow me to go back to my village?"

The blond's other eyebrow went up. "What's wrong? Feeling homesick, un?"

"Not exactly homesick. More like in training withdrawal. I just need some equipment from home."

"Mnhh. I'll ask, but no guarantees. I don't think he hates you or anything," Deidara mutteed doubtfully.

"Thanks, Dei..."

"....You sure you're not sick or something?"

"Naw. I'll get better after training."

"Eh. Okay."

~BiteYouToDeath~

In the end, Leader let her go. For half an hour. Otherwise, she'll be smushed into bits and fed to Zetsu.

Yeah, you get the idea.

All she had to do was scamper down a hill, dart through a forest, cross another river, and then she'd be there.

All this was completed in prescisely twelve minutes and 43 seconds. She checked for her mom, who was undoubtedly do something dumb again, and slipped through a window. Like a ninja.

A few items of importance were tossed into a pack, and she was out again.

There wasn't a way for her to escape (not that she was thinking to) since Zetsu was monitoring her. If she made one move out of the ordinary – Gulp. Swallow.

Once she reached the base (without a nibble, I might add), the pack went flying into her temporary room.

Well.

Not really.

Saito Mizuki has officially moved in – Hello world!

**Please don't kill me – it's the SHORTEST thing I've EVER written – AND I wrote this after Not An Inebriate, which was the LONGEST. FAIIIIL. Epic fail. **

**But on the bright side, the horrible, random, senseless crack is over. Perhaps some of the actual romance (Oh no.) will begin.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm sorry. =headdesk= Naruto just doesn't hold enough inspiration for me. But yay for some of you and nay for others – it's starting to get less cracky and a little more sense-making.**

**And since I just cannot write in First Person POV, this is now changing to 3****rd****. Ha. Sorry. Also, if I continue with 1****st**** person, I'll forget what the OC's name is. FAILURE. This is long, compared with the others, just saying.**

** Disclaimer: This.... is a disclaimer. No shet- =shot=**

She felt and heard the kunai thunk into hardened wood, and lifted a blindfold to peek outward. Her weapon was embedded dead center.

_Finally... _

An hours of training morphed into two, and then three, four.

At last, the symptoms of training withdrawal were gone. Whee.

Mizuki collapsed on the dirty ground, leaning against a tree stump.

She was exhausted only after these few hours of training – getting out of shape much?

"Oi, you're getting fat, un."

Gee, thanks, Dei.

"At least I'm not as fat as you are yet, Dei."

"I am not fat!" he squawked. "At least you aren't as fat as Hiruko, you mean."

"I heard that," a monotone voice broke in, and Hiruko shuffled into the clearing.

Dei waved a hand dismissively. "It's not like it has feelings, un."

Sasori snorted, and gestured lazily to the girl on the ground.

"Up, Mizuki. Leader wants everyone inside now."

"Eh?" Mizuki blinked. "He has a meeting or something?" She was never allowed to attend meetings anyway, so what was the point?

"There's no one to watch you if we're all at a meeting," Sasori replied, sighing.

She nodded. Point. Still kinda sad how they don't trust her though.

Over these few months, the Akatsuki had become her family – it was depressing how they didn't think the same of her. Then again, all the members tried to kill each other on a regular basis...

Anyway.

Moving on.

She retrieved her weapons and packed them away, following the duo back to the base.

~Wao~

Mizuki had unpacked everything from her bag a week prior, and her bare room looked a little more homey. Stashing away her weapons underneath the bed, she skipped out to find Tobi.

Since Tobi wasn't technically a part of the Akatsuki, he wasn't allowed to attend meetings.

Which meant Mizuki wouldn't be bored.

"Toooobii~" She sang cheerfully as she galloped down the Endless Hallway.

Eventually, a long, long, _long_ time later, she located him in the kitchen, munching away at something that was suspiciously labeled: "Itachi's Cake."

Oh dear.

"Tobi, are you... eating... CAKE!?" She stared, drooling. The orange swirly-masked boy looked up.

"Mizuki! Un, Tobi is a good boy and eating cake quietly by himself!"

"Daww, Tobi is so cute."

So the duo sat down to eat Itachi's cake.

It tastes so much better when it's someone else's.

After eating, they cleaned up and washed plates like the dutiful little underling citizens they were, and trooped back to Mizuki's room.

"What should we play today?"

Identical evil grins stretched onto identically ominous faces. And masks.

~Kufufu~

If Dei and Co. were at a meeting... Then they wouldn't be in their rooms.

If they weren't in their rooms, there's no one to protect them.

If there's no one to protect their rooms, Tobi and Mizuki can create Havoc. With a capital H.

If Tobi and Mizuki can create Havoc, then Tobi and Mizuki will have fun.

Therefore, by the Transitive Property, if Dei and Co. were at a meeting, Tobi and Mizuki will have fun.

So, without further ado, let the fun begin.

~Ushishi~

Of course, first stop was Deidara's room – anyone sane would choose that room first. Why? Because it's an easy target.

And of course, it was a must to go into every room with a large pail of hot pink paint. I mean, it's just one of those things that are necessary.

"So, Tobi, I'll take Dei's, Sasori's, Hidan's, and you can have Itachi's, Kakuzu's and Kisame's."

Doing anything to Zetsu's room – not a good idea.

Dei's room was a mess. Clothes strewn everywhere, and weapons sitting in odd places. But most of it was clay. Clay shavings, balls of clay, different scraps of clay, large blocks of it...

But one corner was kept impeccably clean – the place where all his art was displayed.

Since Mizuki wasn't a totally evil **BEEP**, she resolved to leave that corner alone. The rest was free game though.

Smiling quietly to herself, she popped off the top of her paint can.

~Kora~

The next room was Sasori's - it was impossibly neat, free of anything unnecessary. A neatly made bed in the corner – small, unlike the rest of them – looked totally unused. The carpeted floor was free of any debris. The only cluttered looking space was his workshop – a total 180 from Deidara's. Puppets, among puppets were settled comfortably next to his desk, and many strange looking instruments hung from the walls and were settled on the desktop or in drawers. Other puppets were hung up on the walls, giving the room a decidedly creepy appearance.

She stood in the middle of the room, feeling hairs rise up from the back of her neck. As she contemplated, she found that there wasn't much she wanted to do in here.

If she moved any puppets, Sasori would get mad.

If she painted anything, Sasori would get mad.

If she stuck anything inside, Sasori would probably get mad.

And, oddly enough, she didn't really want a mad Sasori.

Dei was fine – he was mad almost every day. Kisame was hilarious to poke fun at, and Hidan was always mad. Itachi never showed any emotion while Kakuzu was only interested in his money, and she wasn't suicidal enough to do anything to his money.

A mad Sasori was just weird – she didn't like it.

So, she left without doing a thing.

~Juudaime~

She was, however, going to have fun with Hidan. Pink, pink, everywhere~ She hummed silently, and ran her brush over various places. Flowers, hearts, and embarrassing quotes were now scribbled on the walls.

Woohoo.

The next day, Tobi and Mizuku seemed to delight in the screams as the pair were sitting, ninja-like, in the ventilation system. Large amounts of swearing and threats split the air, as well as explosions and storming around happening down there. They giggled to each other.

"Tobi is a good boy!" he was indeed, having done many unspeakable things to Kisame in particular.

Kisame was so fun to poke fun at.

The smart boy had added some pink dye to Kisame's shampoo and body washing materials, causing the blue shark to come out of the shower a bright pink.

Itachi's hair was a strikingly beautiful shade of red, while Hidan, the poor soul, was screaming in pain from the things painted over his walls. Dei, however, received the brunt of the torture.

His beautiful blond hair was now an attractive hue of blue, and his walls were all painted a solid hot pink. His Akatsuki nail polish was now tinted with orange, clashing horribly with the original dark purple. His teeth were temporarily shaded green from tampered toothpaste, and his skin looked decidedly darker.

"I looking like a gay fucking rainbow!" He screamed.

Mizuki shook her head at the horrible word usage, while Tobi sniggered.

"I'm guessing it was you two that did it." A sudden voice stated. Mizuki and Tobi jumped in surprise, hitting their heads loudly against the metallic surface. They waited, tense, but no figures down there seemed to have noticed. When Mizuki turned, it was a red-headed Sasori, squatting in the vent in an adorable posture.

"Aha~" She laughed nervously.

"Eh, Sasori-senpai, you don't look any different," Tobi noted.

"Nothing happened to me."

Tobi looked questioningly at Mizuki, but she just shrugged, unsure of her own actions.


End file.
